Divorce is a time of emotional turmoil and significant change. As you transition from being married to being single, you may fear the loss of identity. Feeling anxious or fearful is perfectly natural when you decide to end your marriage. In many cases, the legal process of divorce itself can seem daunting and intimidating, especially if you are anticipating a long, costly court battle with your spouse.
Identifying fears and addressing them during the divorce process can help prevent them from becoming overwhelming. Below are some common types of fears that people feel when they are going through a divorce and tips for managing them.
Impact on Children
Many parents are fearful that divorce will harm their children, particularly in high-conflict situations. Will the child’s wellbeing suffer, or will they experience difficulties in school due to the turmoil at home?
There may be concerns about a child aligning with one parent more than the other, or about dividing parenting time between spouses. Parents may fear missing out on their child’s development, important milestones, vacations, holiday celebrations or family gatherings. Additionally, divorcing spouses may worry about disconnection due to the loss of daily interaction with their children.
Loss of Relationships
Another big fear is the loss of relationships in the aftermath of a divorce. Spouses tend to develop shared friendships and close bonds with each other’s families during their marriage. The idea of changes in dynamics with friends and family members can seem distressing. Loved ones may end up taking sides during a divorce, particularly if it is contentious.
You may also fear losing your support system as you transition into a new phase of life without your significant other. In some communities that do not condone divorce, deciding to end a marriage may come with stigma and a perception that you are at fault for the split.
Money matters are one of the biggest areas of consideration during divorces. You may fear a loss of financial security due to the end of your marriage. A divorce can mean having no choice but to go back to work to increase your income.
Spouses must work through how to divide their shared assets and properties. You may be concerned about everything from your retirement savings to losing a business you have worked hard to build.
For many people, divorce signifies leaving a familiar life behind and starting over in many areas of your life. Building a new life after divorce can be costly, which is also a source of fear when a marriage ends.
How to Manage Fears
Going through an Oregon divorce may not be easy, but there are steps you can take to manage your fears. Focus on taking things one day at a time and recognize that the emotional and financial challenges you may be facing are temporary. Acknowledge that divorce is a life change that involves big decisions and a lengthy adjustment period.
During a crisis, it is easy to catastrophize to a point that fears become overwhelming. Ask yourself how realistic your fears are. Engage in calming practices such as meditation, yoga, meeting up with a friend and other forms of self-care to cope.
There are several different ways in which couples may approach their divorce. Consider using a collaborative divorce option to reduce the stresses and anxiety that typically arise from litigation or the traditional divorce process.
A divorce involves many considerations such as determining who should live in the marital home, assignment of debts, parenting time and child support. Just because a marriage is ending does not mean that spouses cannot reach a consensus on some issues.
A collaborative divorce can help ease fears by providing you with more control over the outcome. Once areas of concern are identified for each spouse, an Oregon collaborative divorce attorney can help couples work out creative and flexible solutions based on their needs. You can also enlist the expertise of professionals like tax experts, mortgage brokers or financial specialists. They can provide practical advice and help you feel more secure in finalizing aspects of your divorce.